Understanding human nature can be complicated, but there are simple truths that we can anchor to that allow us to fully understand why humans choose certain behaviors.

Fact: We need food and water to survive.

Thirst and hunger are so intense that many people will do anything to quench them. Besides thirst and hunger, there are other innate feelings within us that drive us to take action and seek gratification. In fact, our need for love and belonging is just as strong as thirst and hunger.

Gareth Cook, a pulitzer prize winning journalist and author of the Scientific American’s Mind Matters news column, reports that “our need to connect is as fundamental as our need for food and water.”

Fact: Social pain is just as real as physical pain.

Researched and proven in cultures all around the world and throughout multiple scientific studies we learn that “we are profoundly shaped by our social environment and that we suffer greatly when our social bonds are threatened or severed.”

When we feel socially snubbed, or unaccepted in a group, we doubt our self-worth, our likability, and even our value. We might not like to admit it, but social pain is real pain.

So now the question you might be asking is: “What does this have to do with coaching?”


When we recognize that social connection is a necessity driven to motivate people to take action we can create environments of acceptance to build rapport and trust, and ultimately drive success.

Connection through listening, relationship building, and expressing empathy are the most valuable skill sets a coach can have. Offering a listening ear, while expressing affirmation and reflecting on their efforts goes a long way towards building trust in our relationships.

By connecting with others, and connecting people with other like-minded individuals we become a solution. Through coaching one on one, to partners, or even groups; we build and expand our tribal communities to thrive and survive, simply because it is how we are biologically wired.

Fact: Social Connection is a necessity.

Show up today for another human being by doing the following:
1. Smile
2. Say hello
3. Be present and connect.

It’s that simple.

Want to learn more about the “Power of Connection” and how “Emotion Drives Motion”? Take a look at our online certification where we dive into the neurobiology of human nature, Pivotal Group Coaching Certification powered by Gray Institute.

Reference (retrieved 9/9/19): https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-we-are-wired-to-connect/